Homestuck: Act 6 Act 5
|end = Unknown |length = |previous = Act 6 Intermission 4 |next = Unknown (presumably Act 6 Intermission 5) }} Act 6 Act 5 is a part of Act 6, and is the current act. It does not yet have a known title. Click the " " to open the page from Homestuck. * The act opens with Jake in the Land of Mounds and Xenon, playing with his Grandma's Fourth Wall and sighing as he fantasizes about young Grandma and Poppop, accompanied by his sprite which has been prototyped with the corpses of Sollux and Eridan. He then receives a Pesterchum message from Dirk. * Jake lets out a deeper sigh as he reads Dirk's message, who is wondering where Jake is and encourages Jake to meet up with him to explore a tomb, comparing it to the "Lion's Mouth". Jake locks his phone without responding. * Jake talks to Erisolsprite and, oblivious to the sprite's hatred of him, asks whether he should end his relationship with Dirk. Erisolsprite tells Jake to talk to Jane about it. * At her house on the Land of Pyramids and Neon, Roxy is set to throw a 16th birtday *birthday party for Jane, with Roxy's sprite (prototyped with the corpses of Nepeta and Feferi), God Cat and various carapacians in attendance. * Jane answers Jake's message and realizes that he forgot about her birthday party, which is set to begin tomorrow. Jake apologizes and, amazed at how much time has passed since they entered the game, begins recapping the events of their session. The skeletal underlings have proved nearly impossible to kill and drop only a small amount of grist; the kids have thus spent most of their session collecting grist from ruins and waiting for the Heroes to arrive. He then gets to the main topic of his message: Dirk. As Jake begins to talk about his relationship difficulties with Dirk, Jane becomes increasingly annoyed with him, and when he hypocritically criticizes Dirk for lacking self-awareness she reaches her breaking point and tells him to shut up. * Jane lashes out at Jake, saying that he is totally self-absorbed and contacts her only to talk about himself and his relationship, never once asking how she feels about anything. She begins to admit her feelings for Jake, but gets interrupted by him when he claims to have figured out what Jane is feeling. However, he has come to the totally wrong conclusion that Jane is in love with Dirk. An enraged Jane flips over the table while Roxy and her sprite watch uncomfortably. * Jane tells Jake that her party is canceled and, after telling him to shut up one last time, throws her headset onto the ground and stomps on it. Roxy asks her to stop because she is upsetting Fefetasprite. * Jane dismisses Roxy's concerns about Fefetasprite saying she knows what it is like to be in her situation. Roxy tries to cheer Jane up and mentions that if Jake and Dirk break up she would have another shot at him to which Jane states she is over Jake. Roxy jokes about Jane being OK with others dating Jake which further upsets Jane who complains about everything in the session being depressing, which compounded with waiting for the B1 kids and no contact from her Dad or Calliope pushes her to the breaking point and she leaves to go home and be by herself. The last page marks the longest sequence of recurring actions. * With Jane gone, Roxy is left alone with Fefetasprite, who has fallen asleep, and God Cat. Suddenly, GCat uses its First Guardian powers to teleport itself and Roxy into the air above Derse. * Roxy falls, and is knocked out. The Condesce stands over her. Her tiara glows magenta on the outside (as it does whenever she uses one of her unlocked psychic powers), and seems to glow bronze on the inside, as it did when she used the bronzeblood animal communing powers. * Jane arrives on LOCAH and starts angrily walking back to her house as she starts calming down. She is suddenly contacted by Caliborn. * Jane is irritated by Caliborn's sudden reemergence, since she was under the impression that he was gone for good. Much to her horror, he reveals that he can see everything she does on his tower and that he has been spying on her because he finds her attractive, claiming that his constant insults are actually his way of complimenting her appearance. Caliborn gloats about his improved artistic skills, and then gives her a "birthday present": depicting Jane as a circle with a caption calling her a " ", and postulating that he could draw a "fake circle" with right angles too small to see. Caliborn's session is revealed to now have numerous towers. He also mentions a voice in his head, which may or may not refer to Hussie. * Jane is furious at Caliborn and tries to put him to sleep by saying Calliope's name. He explains that Calliope is dead, then reveals that Jane's Dad was arrested on Derse at the start of her quest, claiming that he was brutally tortured by his captors, and is probably dead too. Crushed by this, Jane destroys her Crosbytop while telling Caliborn to leave her alone and stop watching her. * A crying Jane runs back to her house. * On Derse, the Draconian Dignitary (now dressed in a suit identical to Diamonds Droog's) checks the paper for the latest news. Prospit and Derse have been caught in diplomatic gridlock as the Dark Kingdom attempts to negotiate Jack Noir's release from prison. The White Queen has offered to let him go if the Condesce delivers an apology, but she refuses to accept their terms. The Dignitary's office is covered in piles of ignored paperwork, and he considers having the Courtyard Droll send all the forms to Prospit so Jack can fill them out in jail. * DD examines the new Fenestrated Walls that CD had alchemized. DD observes Jane through a Wall and thinks back on the Condesce's orders for the agents to leave the Nobles alone until Jane's birthday. DD makes a guess based upon her behavior that the order came from her boss, and guesses that as her boss's right hand woman she has secret plans unknown to him. * DD checks on Jane's dad, who is revealed to be unharmed in his Very Important Prisoner luxury suite. * DD observes Dad using his PDA. A new version of Serious Business has been set up that allows him to contact citizens of Derse but not the kids. Derse's citizens have made Dad a celebrity, and his business-like attire has been adopted as the kingdom's new fashion trend. Dad and some of his contacts are currently giving advice to HATLIKER, a carapacian who sat on his favorite hat and rumpled it. Some of the Dersites suggest that he try to fix the hat by "unsitting" on it, but Dad informs them that it won't work and they yield to his superior knowledge. * On Serious Business, several Dersites speculate that the rumpled hat may be more fashionable, and suggest trying to start a new rumpled hat fashion trend, however Dad refuses to condone that activity, and the Dignitary tells HATLIKER to burn the damaged hat immediately and never wear anything like it in public. The other carapacians agree. The Condesce joins in on the conversation, complaining about the " ", calling the Serious Business social network a waste of royal gold, and lamenting her decision to let " nasty clowns". She then orders DD to return her ring. * Years in the future, minus several, with Roxy's House in the carapacian colony there is a thunderstorm. * In her bedroom Roxy starts reading some of her wizard fiction, "Wizardy Herbert". Herbert is aware of himself being in a novel having apparently left it earlier and spent years outside it and after returning sees the characters as mindlessly following a script. * Roxy skips ahead to a scene where the characters are playing a magical sport and are having an argument because of secrets revolving around a series of events. Beatrix realises that Grant's name is fake and suspects it of being an anagram as a clue under their noses. As the sport begins Beatrix apparently realises that the name is an anagram for "not an anagram" and Roxy skips to the end. At the end Herbert and Beatrix are unable to influence the game and suspect the story of trying to make them into a token romance. The writing falls apart as Roxy's drunkenness get the better of her. * Roxy decides to stop writing while drunk and gets cheered by Calliope. Suddenly, the storm causes the power to go out in her house, which should be impossible since the electricity is provided by Skaianet hubs, not an external power grid. Roxy tries to chat with Calliope but is met with silence. While continuing to get no response, she realizes that she somehow knows Calliope's name and isn't actually drunk, indicating that the flashback is actually a dream bubble memory. * Roxy hears something and looks out her window. Though intact and not powered, it appears to lead into the void, and she sees the cracks in paradox space that created. She then turns her eyes to see... * ...Twinkly Herbert in the distance. She gladly reunites with her friend but is soon interrupted by Calliope, who begins to speak to her through Herbert's morse-code speech. Calliope tells Roxy that her brother is out to destroy her soul, then asks her to come with her. * Roxy leaves her room, but notices that her house has been altered from the way she remembers it and that she is now wearing the outfit of a fashionable science woman. Calliope doesn't know why this is happening and tells her to keep going. Roxy examines a poorly-illustrated wizard painting printout on the wall and proclaims that " ". * After admiring more shitty wizard pictures, Roxy thinks she sees the Condesce at the end of a corridor. Calliope reminds her that this is only an image from her subconscious, and leads her to the door to the observatory at the top of the house where Calliope says they will have more privacy.